Just for Journaling's Sake

Since my blog has become more of a journal than just family updates, I wanted to add this post so that I can look back and remember it. This is pretty personal, but I don't mind sharing it with everybody.

Today, after all of the kids in the nursery got picked up and I had cleaned up, I did something that I have been meaning to do for a long time. I got a blessing. I think I've been putting it off because I didn't want to have Brandon do it, him being biased. I asked one of the brethren in the bishopric to do it for me, but I was so overcome by emotion I couldn't continue speaking to tell him what it was for.

Brandon, of course, participated, but the other brother gave the actual prayer. It was a healing blessing, as well as a comforting one. Brandon had to tell him that it was needed because we have had a hard time having a baby, since I was already fighting back tears and one word escaping my lips would have lost that battle for me. He was very understanding and sympathetic.

After Brandon did his part, the brother confirmed and gave me the blessing. He told me how much the Lord loves me and is aware of my struggles and blessed me that my body would be healed. He told me to give all of my stress over to Him and to let myself relax. He went on to say that we will be blessed with the ability to "grow our family" and that we would raise a righteous family. He said that our children would grow up in faith and go on to serve missions. It was beautiful.

I so needed this. I have been feeling so positive that it is going to happen soon and this just confirms it for me. I am so grateful to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am so thankful to have the Priesthood in my home and in our church, so that these special blessings are possible. I have such faith in them. I have seen miracles happen right after a blessing is given. I would not have my husband by my side today if it had not been for the "laying on of hands" when he was in the hospital. I know that what that brother told me today was from my Heavenly Father. I know that He is aware of the pain I have felt in my heart and the desire I have to be a mother. He knows who I am. He knows me by name. He knows what is best for me and I have to accept that. I can look back and accept that we have not been able to have a child so far, because I can see the road behind me and see how that would have made our struggles so much harder, not to mention the quality of life that the child would have had. During Brandon's illness, he needed me. I could not have given him everything he needed and been there, staying in the hospital with him, if we had had a child. I pray that He will see fit to bless us now with the child we have longed for, wished for and prayed for for so long. I feel certain that the time is soon. He loves me and he loves Brandon and He knows that we will be the best parents we can be and that we will love our children unconditionally and give them everything we can and teach them correct principles and the knowledge needed to be successful in life. I believe all of this and know it to be true, because the Spirit has confirmed it in my heart.